CSI: School's elective subject

My holiday, I spend a lot of my time watching tv. Shows that I waited the most is CSI. There are 3 CSI shows. I only watch CSI: Las Vegas and New York. CSI: Miami is crap. rubbish. Horatio role is lame. I think that franchise need to be discontinued. Been watching CSI shows made me realize that the shows is combination of my secondary school's elective subjects. Biology, Chemistry and Physics. Add math? f**k. hahha.

Service Provider

I just remember back when I was in high school I already determined what type of girl I will be with. The obvious type is which service provider that she's using. Service provider (eg: celcom, digi, maxis, AT&T, verizon ) play an important role for me in choosing the girl. she definitely have to use the same service provider as me. In this case, Digi. It is hard is you have different service provider with each other. unless you're born in some rich family which did not occur in my case. I did once found a nice girl but service provider keep us apart. Well, I could switch service provider but then...will it be worth it? what if the relationship is not going far as expected? This is why I always search girls that used the same service provider as me. Its easier. Not to say that I hate the other service provider, I used to digi and it hard to switch. My contact mostly used celcom. come to think of it, 90%. ahahah..only certain people in my life used digi.

Growing up, to think the fact that I choose a girl based on her service provider is silly. hahah. (hate growing up) But, still I used that method. Coz it works. hahah. I dont have to think the complexness of texting or calling each other. I guess being in love early cause me to develop many theory that can and can not be used. hahah

(....)

The reason why I start blogging is mainly because I feel that by blogging I will reduce the chances of committing suicide. I need to let it out somehow. And the chances of any of my family member will read about my blog, is at none. That the beauty of my blog. None of my family member will ever find out my blog. Blog to me is like my personal silent therapist. I just need to let it out. Today, on this very evening I once again encounter enormous stress. From my mother. I hate when she do things that I did not like. I argue to her about putting back bed into my room. I'm totally find without the bed. Just the triple layer of mattress for me is fine. But then, she took the action and by force placing the bed back into my room. I did not help my mother at all. frankly, I was piss. The only reason why she placing back the bed is because there is no space in the store and she do not want to put it back into her jahit-room. and my room is the perfect place to place the bed. I hate it. I like things much better when there was only mattress. Plus, this bed is an old bed. Back ahead when we was in teacher quarters. I felt like my life is pointless. I'm 19, and still being control by my mother. my decision will never be accepted. In the past, I did once discover that my second sister was ambitious to leave home. away from home. i found that in her old phone. passed down to me. I found it by accidentally. I did not read it in detail. but enough to know that she was meaning to leave home. I feel like crying blogging about this. I had once hurt my sister. and I not proud of it. from my personal view, my parents treat me differently. It is so stressful being the only son in this family. plus with the broken system of communicating with each other. If I could, I would cut my wrist off. But then, I will not go to heaven or hell. And Allah never forgive me. I realize that fact. I could never told my girlfriend about this matter. Its not that I dont trust her. I just want to her to know that I'm happy and there is nothing to worry about. That is much better for me. Any one in my family will never understand what I felt. Black sheep. that is who I am. in this family. If I could run away from home, I will do it. pointless if I keep staying home. Mom with nagging all the time and dad with communication problem. Maybe someday I will disappear. I hopefully, no one will ever search for me. I already used to be like treated like this. I am failure to this family. Especially when I'm the son of teachers.

Innovation of Creation

Yesterday, I decided to tidy up my room a bit. I fired up my old desktop pc. It been sitting under my desk for too long. Poor him (or her?). That pc I specifically used for the purpose of long-time downloading. I dont want my laptop to be the victim. Plus, I dont want to make any damage on my beloved laptop. She provide me the exciting and anxiety of playing cool video games.

Apart from that story, I used back my old innovation. Its originally from a chair (school's chair to be exact). I did a little bot modification. Thus, a small desk is born. hhaha.

Playing Guitar On Holiday

Things to do on holiday: play guitar! Currently on holiday, I spent my quality time with my loyal guitar. hahha. Considering now that I have abundant supply of time, I spent my time creating my own song. Channeling the creative source of my brain into a proper way. I wrote a few. But still in the drafting process. Wish there was a singer. It would be easier.I cant sing. I tried. It just not pretty to hear. haha. (being frankly). I fired up my old computer. A desktop pc. (currently blogging with it). It been lonely underneath my desk in my room. The reason why I want it running is because I want another pc to download stuff for me. I forgotten why I shut down this pc. Probably because of the audio problem. It been a troublesome of finding its driver. Lets face it. Its a pc. The hardware is different.

I probably should stop talking abut pc now. This post is about me playing guitar. on holiday. hahha. Actually, the reason I bring up the pc-story is because, in this pc, I found the old song that written by me. myself. I lost my old song since my hard drive (accidentally) formatted. There are four of them. Title with "again", "detik", "malu" and "step back in the line".

The song "again", talk about a guy/girl being left by his/her partner. The song shows how much he/she miss him/her so much and hoping that him/her would come back. I planned this song would be a slow song. With the the of missing somebody. The inspiration came probably when I was in a week whereby my girlfriend have to make a decision for (bla...bla..bla..bla..).

Being doing nothing inspired my mind to sing whatever I like. Thus, "detik" is born. it pretty much a song that mumbling through my mouth. sadly, I have not yet added guitar chord for this song. I think I probably have forgot how the song sound like.

"malu" is actually inspired by my friend. its a song where you like somebody but you afraid to approach him/her. A lot of things played in your mind. you probably thinking that he/she is already been taken. that fear make you afraid to approach him/her which caught your attention.

Do you ever see people in a racing, (ignoring what type of race) is at the point of quiting? I have. in movie. the movie title is, Run fat boy, Run!. I was inspired by the movie. Thats where the song "step back in the line" came from. This song is truly dedicated to people that is about to lose hope, but the fight is not over. Finish line is just up ahead.

I realized something. When I played guitar. I sweat. So far as I concern, I'm burning calories. yeah.

Milo shake & Fried Rice added with Cheesy Omelette

These few days, I been bored with food that I'm eating. Not that I'm not great full, but honestly it is not cool to eat the same thing all along. Its time to add a little bit of imagination.

Above you can see my delight Milo shake. Its not ordinary. There will be taste of chocolate ice cream and a taste of a little bit of milk. It is mesmerizing!

I improve my cooking. Presenting, Cheesy Omelette with fried rice,

This shoot is not the best. Clearly, the lighting sucks. But, pay attention to the omellette. Filled with melted cheese taste. I indeed love cooking this Cheesy omelette. Its so tasty. It is so much better than making an omelette an sprinkle it with cheese.

The fried rice, is not something new to me. Its what i used to cook. Cabbage, carrot is for surely in there. And the most importantly, there is powder of Chinese's fried rice. haha..

(......)

People will never can understand me. Close will be my girlfriend, but not completely. My personal side will be easy to understand. But, whenever asking my family side. Things will be different. I always lie whenever people asked about my family (especially about my parent). The lie I'm talking about is the lie that mostly about my relationship with them. In this family, I will always feel like I'm not belong with them. Its like I an adopted son, but the catch is, I'm not. Not even once I felt that I'm lucky to be apart of this family. Somehow, I always have communication problem with my parents. Their styles of communicating with me never seems to be suit with me. My mother for example, never ask me in a good way for a favor. Some sort of high pitch voice always seems to be in the content. I hate when that happened. I will always remains wondering why me and my father never seems to get along. I remember back in high school, my teacher asked me to hug my father when I received the award form him. But, I never did it. As I grow up, I felt that family have nothing special meaning to me. If ask about family, I only be thinking about my sisters. They are the people that I please to talk with. Not my parents. I did try. And as I knew, it will never work. It sucks. Last night, we went out for dinner at Seven On Seven cafe, Matang Jaya. The place is beautiful. The table that we seated was for 6 people. I did know why that table was chosen. I sat lonely on my spot. Nobody beside me. If my elder sister were there, it will be her. The whole night, I just sat quietly. I have nothing to talk. I know I dont deserved to be in this family. I the only son that did not make my parents any proud. And i know that is a concrete fact. I will never add my father on my facebook. I have a lots of reasons. It will never happened. Facebook, so many times I have deactivated it. The only reason why it still active is my girlfriend. She 'force' me to active it. Hardly for me to say no. I will not argue with Allah decision of letting me see this world. I only never been happy in this family. Atmosphere of stress exists between me and my family. Sometimes, I thought of dying. And I think I'm ready. It just a pressure days in my life. I disappointed them. for sure. I wonder what it will be like if I'm far away from my family. For sure, it will hard for me to call them. What the things that I should talk to them? Things that I do, will never be enough to make them proud. I just a failure product. If I'm at gun point, maybe..I will let the bullet pass through my brain. I envy if my cousins and my girlfriend. Their relationship with their parents seems to be much better. I for surely, does not believe if other people said that "your parent do that, is because they love you". I will never believe in that shit. So far from reality to me. In my family, perfection surely is they key. And I will be struggling for the rest of my life. This is not my death note, but my confession of myself about my so-called family.

p/s: I always wonder what happen if, I enter a tv shows and then they ask my family about me. I somehow doubt that the things said will be true.

30th November 2010

Its already 30th November. Tomorrow will start a new waiting. For the 5th, I have my anniversary with my lovely girlfriend. Both of us still wondering what to do on that day. Things did not looking good in term of financially. Just hoping to see each other. Its been two week since the last time we saw each other. I just cant believe it. Its almost been a year. The longest time I ever been with somebody. This mean so much to me. And I believe, this will be the last person that I will ever committed with.

On the 10th, my examination result will come out. I'm so nervous & anxious. What will it be? I fear the most on my Calculus II subject. I scored low on my carry mark. Thats bother me a lot. I only manage to pass 1 out of 3 test. That is not good. Adi said I can do it in the class. Somehow, in exam things did not go as I planned. $%^&*. When I sat for the exam (Calculus II), I already thought that it will not be easy. And I was right. I did skip a few questions. That will cost me. Well, what done is done. Nothing that I can do to make it better. Hoping I will get C or better. I made my nazar. If I pass Calculus II, I will be fasting for a month. Calculus II, so far is the worst subject I taken. Really hoping I will pass it.

If I do pass, then maybe I will fly to Shah Alam. For fast track. I really want to take my degree early. I dont want to be left out. It come down to the next Friday. Surely, that day UiTM's server will be down. Considering that they do not spend more budget on the server. It happened all the time. I still dont know why the wont fix this problem. Clearly showing a weakness in its IT industry.

First Ever

HAPPY 100 & 101 POST~!

Yesterday, I made my first ever recorder video game. I recorded my drifting in GRID. Highest combo I ever scored; 32 combo. Its not the biggest combo ever recorded, but its my first ever. Other players have scored beyond my drifting points. Reaching about more than 200 millions. Some even has scored a billion. My skills still need to be developed. still being novice

I Nailed It!!

Yeahhhh! I nailed it! I scored 23 million drifting point in GRID. It really happened and below is my exhibit A . .hahaha....

it took me quite a while to understand how to get a high score..I failed at drifting at high score..the only thing I did is what I normally do, collect many combo as I can. I used to do this in NFS: Carbon..it works..and enable me to get Drift King. Here in GRID, things difference. Its not the overall score that make your title. Its each individual drift. For example, drifting at one corner. That corner score will show how good was your drift. So far, I failed in getting Drift Legend. I really wonder how much do I need to score in order to get that title.

It took me 23 combo in order to these million. I really push my drifting skills to the limit. I hold the combo with making my laps time. I actually arouse by computer player that drift in front of me. Making me want to do better at him ( or her? ). This score is made when I'm using the extreme difficulties. In this difficulty, computer are only able to score below than 10 million. So far as I know.

Unfortunately, I know little about recording video games. These image was taken by using my DSLR. Currently typing, I already download the software to record the video game. My victory in scoring this high score will not be the last. hehhe..

Assassin's Creed

My 2nd holiday game. hahah..I was amaze by this game. I finally get the chance of becoming an assassin. haha..if fun killing people in a way of secret. haha...this game bring us back to the old ages. You will control Altair. He is one of the assassin. In this game, the theory is, each one of us has the DNA of our ancestor. Altair is the ancestor to Desmond. Desmond is the actual character that we control in this game. By using Animus, scientist can access Desmond memory and search for his ancestor memory.

Well...something seems not right. Logically, Altair is muslim..but Desmond is christian. how could that be? seems the story is not right. However, in Assassins Creed II the story seems to be logic because now we will be playing Enzio. An assassins in the Roman Age.

Sadly for me....I could not play assassins creed II. huhuh...there seems to be problem with cracking the game. Hishhh...what a troublesome!

Race Driver: GRID

Its holiday. I now can play computer games all day long if I want to. I been addicted to drifting in this game. I play it for 6 round and it was never enough. My highest point in drifting was about 7 million ++...that is not enough! I want to beat 20 million. My favorite car is Nissan Sylvia, but in order to get more than 2 million, I used Toyota Corolla (AE86). AE86 handling seems much simpler than Sylvia. Plus, AE86 is much shorter car which give me much better drifting. I did not played this game with keyboard. I could...but i dont want to. I used joystick. Much cooler drifting with analog. haha

Believe it or not, the highest difficulty in drifting is Ninja. hahah...You heard me right. I was surprised too when I discover it. Sadly in this game, I only good at drifting. The other races sucks. I dont know what the problem is but I just failed at other type of races.

I really looking forward for GRID 2. Hopefully, there will more car available for drifting. There only a little choices of cars. I wish there is Evo 8 in this game. Its one of my favorite car.

My Holiday

my holiday was all about tv, online, drama, anime & games. I been stuck with NCIS, Crminal Minds & Warehouse 13. Those are the most shows that I watched. Too much of its exposure caused me to be sick of them. Its boring stayed at home. My routine seems to be the same all day long. Nothing interested enough to do. .

Driving

I found out people often ask how long have you been driving (on the driving issue). Its kinda weird for me. I think the right answer should be, how often do you drive? For me, driving skill require a lot of body coordination. It is a connection of your mind and body, working together. It has been more than 1 years since I start driving. But, I frequently drive. Almost like everyday. That make me a better driver since I always behind the wheels.

Holiday.Will.Be

My holiday officially started. well, its on evening of Sunday actually. That evening, myself, adi,

erin and fill went out for the last time in this semester. We went to SCR to have our dinner. But

before that we all went to irsyad's house. To be honest, we'r piss with him. Already in front of his

house, but he did not welcome us in. @#$%^&. Acting like we are not there. His house is 4 story

tall. When we went downstairs only then he text to adi, saying he did not realize that we were there. Hell no im going back. Im hungry.

At SCR, things quite moody. Everybody leaving. Plus, its only 4 of us. Adi, erin and fill talk to me. Saying they want to go to Taman Sahabat. Frankly, adi and fill never went to there. Erin does, but for long time ago with her not-close cousins. hahha. I spoke to Adi. I tell him that after this ECO120 test, i will be having "pisang goreng keju". hahah. I been craving for that food for a long time. It turn out, he also want to have it. When they decide to go to Taman Sahabat, i was thinking. What would we do? haha. The time was, 7.00 p.m. Well, i had no problem of going home late (but, i do need to be back at home approximately at 9.00 p.m; reasons, something i agreed with my girlfriend).

Our plan for that evening was, first, went to Flora to buy "pisang goreng keju". Second, eat it at Taman Sahabat. hahaha. Turn out, all of them never went to Medan Pelita. Nothing surprising. This palace used to be a dark side of the town. Teenagers used to hangout here; reasons, arcade machines. Now, the arcade machines is no longer at the Medan Pelita. Things seems much peace in the building. What surprise me was, there was "Bazaar Ria" hahaha. I thought that place only exists at Samarahan.

Finally at Taman Sahabat. Together with us, 3 delicious "pisang goreng keju" ! RM3.50 each. cant wait to eat the cheesy-crusty tastes! While eating, adi count the number of couple he spotted. I dont know why. Perhaps, something new to him, hahah. Sorry, i cant provide any picture of us at these places. I didnt expect we went out. Pictures are taken, but by erin. Hopefully, she will post it soon. The night end with me sending 3 of them at youth floor. They want to hang out for a while. maybe for the last time?

Ending that night was pretty sad for me. One moth from now, our result will be published. At that time, i maybe, thinking of pursuing my study to Shah Alam. if and only if, i get 3.00 and above for my CGPA. Frankly, i will be sad to leave my friends. I had a lot of memories with them. We all had different background. Since our first year. But, still we stick together as what known now "The Aces".

I dont know why i didnt blog for the past time. I had something to blog, but, it seems i did not. well, this holiday, will be, movies, drama and blogging. There will be no year-end holiday trip.

Counting Days

Its been 4 days and 3 night I stayed in Adie's room. I will stay until Saturday, that is until the

multimedia test. To be exact, that is not the reason why i stayed. The real reason is because for the

next day. 5th of November ; my relationship monthsary for the 11 month i been with my lovely,

charming girlfriend. For me, she has now broken my record of being with somebody. So far as I

remember, the longest time i been with somebody is approximately, 6 months...and the shortest is

a week.

Im really looking forward for the 5th Of December. Its a huge step for me. A lots of things I

been through with her. Well, i took me one semester to tackle her heart. Which that time, it was

really complicated. I been through a lots of stages. One of them I call as pre-couple stage. In this

stage, it look as Im his boyfriend but, here the catch ; Im not! Everyone look as if you're a couple.

But the reality is differ. I still do not own her heart. For the first semester, i had been through a lots of waiting. I remember the day that i really become his boyfriend. Few days later, she had

to go to KL for vacation, for a week!

Perhaps the suitable song will be Linkin Park - Wainting for the end

The Aces Music

last Wednesday, me and Adie decide to record our acoustic cover ..hahah...

its funny coz' before this me and my friends always tease adie

saying that he is a recording artist since the incident

that he record his voice in his phone....later found by Azzryn...

hahaha....everybody knows what happen if Azzryn find out...

nyway, hope you guys enjoy the song.....

1st version:

2nd version:

ost otetmon:

Ready To Ship & Sell: Shinko. the thief

Yeayy!!! finally i did it!

hahhaha....never thought it would be possible...

i just print my cd cover for Shinko. the thief

it is superb!

i am thankful that i manage to pull this trick...it seems to be tricky

at first...but then i discover PDF file can be chose on what type of

paper size do you want.....

in my case, Custom..

i just measure my cd cover paper size,

then scan it, and do a photoshop a bit....

and......

wallla!

perfetto~!

Day Out! Week 15!

finally, the day we all been waiting for. The Ace day out. Mon, 17.

after the economic class,

me and my friends visit erin for a while..it is unfortunate that she cannot

hang out with us...she still waiting for medical check up...huhuh

our plan is simple. eat 1st.

destination? chicken hurtz!

we arrived early, and we have to wait half an hour

before the happy hour start...

in that time, we just go round and round inside Sarawak Plaza..

this weight machine is cheap! only 10 cent...at Watson..hahha

why the hell did the owner stick that nudity poster?

its Azzryn's finger

next destination: bowling!

the best part was, all of us manage to get a strike....

but, sadly...aki have to go home after the bowling game....

(boo~)

erin: amik kmk!

well, the sick girl is finally can not stand of being alone

in the "bilik kurang upaya"..hahaha

with aki gone, erin finally decided to go with us..K-Box time!

K-Box was a blast...everybody having fun..except for adi...

he was sick that night...flu and cold...

haaha...

Early Present

my early birthday present given by my one and only girlfriend..

heee~ never thought it was cupcakes....hahah

but the main message is there...

this make me loves her more than ever!

Shinko. the thief

finally....i finish my first ever animation...fuhhh~~

for the past 13 week....i been thinking... procrastinating...struggling...

what is my animation?

thankfully i done it. the animation is short and simple.

Sadly, only the actor & actress in the clip is in the color...

for the rest just black and white....

Adie said it is a shame it could not be colored...

well, i want to...

but, THANKS to my adobe CS5...

i could not fill any of my drawing...

huhuhu....a shamme~~~

To: Mr Robert

Finally i finish your animation assignment. it had been a pleasure

working as an animator, designer and producer.

hopefully you grade my paper with A.

faithfully,

Wan Nur Azlan Bin Wan Mohamad. CSD3K1.

Shinko

yesss~! thank you Mr.Robert...hahhaa.....

he added one more week due date to send all of our multimedia assignment..hahhaha

well, mind is already 90% finished...only some area need to be edited...

The DVD cover above is the most thing i like in this assignment...it make me feel

as if this project is real..hahah...

October . Finally

wow...i cant believe it...i did not blog...for a month? huhuh....there's a lot of thing i want to

blog about, but.....it seems im not in the mood to get my hands typing...

1st October, indicates me that i have 21 days left before my b-day and importantly i have 14 days

left to submit my multimedia assignment(s) which, frankly do not have progress going on..

im doom~

Just Say Yes

Snow Petrol - Just Say Yes

i like this song...

my promise is,

i would sing this song,

(unplugged..perhaps)

to my beloved wife

on the day that

i get married,

or before...

hoping everything

will run smoothly if

i sing this song..

(cross finger)

worst week

wow...just experienced my worst week in my life...

everything was so wrong..here and there..

especially my love life...

i just had a fight with her...on the Wednesday....

it was bad...for me, it mas my fault...

i hate to blame it on her..

its not what i do in love...

the reason we fight?

well...let just say that is all

about not ready to be far away from each other...

if she had told me earlier maybe i will understand better..

(perhaps)

im not really feeling myself this week...

trying to be happy,

but

there just something that i consider

making my mood swing

another thing that really upset me,

was

other people seems to take different

view

when i get close to someone..

weird

i dont want to really to talk about it...

let it just be,

my bad memory...

hopefully i can ignore it...

(dont tell me the truth).

Sedapp~

Coconut jelly! jellicious~~hahaha

cant remember its name..but, donut's shape+gula apong=sedappp!

Something new...Roti John Cheese (Ayam) :: still RM3.00

Twist potato....at emart is the best! simply delicious~perfetto'~

kuih bongkol (sedap tok~) :: Wheat flour + gula apong

Pergedel (kentang) :: xbrpa glak..huhuh..less salt..

SALT

this movie is not talking about garam (salt)..hhaha..

its actually action-thriller about russian spy...

im not going to talk about the synopsis...for sure you can get it in wiki or something...

this story will twist your mind a bit...wondering who should you trust

well, for me...im in coz of the action genre...hahha

for sure, this movie is interesting..

TAKOYAKI~~~~

aaa~~~ going to eat takoyaki with mashed potato...aaaa~~~

my new Logo

my new logo! this one is originally hand drawn

edited in photoshop...i still think my hand drawn is much better

Ramadhan

if im not mistaken, there is hadith saying that in Ramadhan month Allah will granted all of our prayer...(doa)...

well, at first i did not take this seriously...but after 2 event occur to me, i truly believe it....

1st event:: it was Wednesday, and i drove Hilux to go for my class early in the morning...the class is only 8-10 am...and the next class is at 2-4 pm...a have a gap about 4 hours...so, i decide to bring my friends out to the town for a while...we went to OneJaya mall...which is still new shopping complex...and there was only a few shops....

at about 12++ pm...it was time for us head back to campus...while sending my friends to their hostel, i came out with a thought of,

what are the chances of accident occur in the Uitm..with the speed limit of 30km in the campus...

there was nothing strange after i thought about that statement...but, after we finished our class i was going to take my girlfriend to KFC..she wanted to buy food for sungkey ...and the moment we enter back into the campus, there was accident happened..it was in the middle of 4 junction..not far away from the main gate..

the myvi bumper was badly crush...haha...<--it's his fault if im not mistaken...

2nd event:: i was sungkey with my girlfriend the Thursday evening...while we were talking, i asked her what if there is time i did not wish her good night...what will be happened to her?

well, so far as i concerned...this is just my saying..

umm...i did happened...last night...i was waiting for her to get ready for bed...and during that moment i was already in bed, covered with blanket...i remembered the last text i reply...but i cant remember wishing her back... truth is, i fall to sleep..without my knowing...huhuh...

and when i woke up in the middle of the night, there was her wishing text, asking me whether i get her text and she sulking at me for fallen to sleep without wishing her back text...

the moment i woke up, and was reading all that texts, i fell so guilty to her..quickly, i text her back...eventhough she is still sleeping...i know its seems pointless to text someone who is still sleeping but, for me....i rather text at that moment so that she knows that i really concerned with her...and this, i hope will prove that im not lying when i say i love her so much...

(im still waiting for her to wake up, and reply my text...)

0852, GMT+0800, Kuala Lumpur

Sungkey sowg~

milo, more than 500ml

fried rice added Chinese rice powder

cheese omelet

wedges and some hot dogs

mayonnaise with ketchup

this is what i sungkey today....huhhu..alone..this week i was assign to be a home keeper..huhuhu..my parents are in kl, sending my sister back to US..

i will be missing her though..i will miss teasing her...hahhaa

sunday, monday, tuesday i will be all alone in home...but, they will be back on tuesday night..

along with some things i order..from kl..hahah